Posts Tagged ‘Function of behavior’
Are you in touch with your true cartoons?
In DBT, primary emotions are emotions that people have about a situation or event. Secondary emotions are emotional reactions to emotions. Figuring out which is which may be helpful for people that have a lot of trouble sorting out what they feel, identifying what causes feelings, and knowing how to make use of feelings. The overall goal is to enable people to express emotions accurately.
Let’s take the example of anger. Sometimes, when people get angry, they say things they do not mean. They deliver “low blows”, say things that are extremely hurtful, and launch into full attack mode.When anger shows up, it is very possible that other primary emotions (betrayal, hurt, scared, or sad) are also part of the picture.
Imagine how the conversation would be different if the person who expresses anger was actually expressing any of the above emotions. “I was really upset when you didn’t show up. I thought something might have happened. At first I was really worried, and then I started thinking that you might have forgotten about meeting with me altogether. I wasn’t really sure what to make of the situation. I have this tendency to think no one cares about me when this happens. Perhaps you could tell me what happened.”
Another example may go something like this: Feeling afraid but then feeling ashamed for feeling afraid. Sometimes people are afraid of intimacy and connection but act on the shame. For instance, having a really good time with friends (feeling appreciated, included, and valued) is followed by withdrawal and avoidance. Is this you? If so, what words would you put on your fear that would be more accurate? Are there any elephants in the room that you’ve failed to consider?
Posted in Emotion Regulation | 
Tags: Cartoon elephants, Change, communication, Emotion, Function of behavior, interpretations, Relationship, Understanding emotion, validation | 
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What is your emotion getting you to do?
Emotions have a very important role in our lives of getting us activated, moving, and solving problems. If we had no emotions, we wouldn’t know when we were missing out, miserable, in a bad situation, or needing to make some sort of change. Sometimes our emotions are working very hard to give us a strong and important message.
Have you ever considered the benefit of what your emotion might be trying to tell you? Emotions are messages, red flags, and physiological responses that work to capture our attention. Suppressing, ignoring, or inhibiting them over time can lead problems with our overall health and wellbeing.
Sometimes our emotions propel us to take a good hard look at painful, scary, or uncomfortable situations. Fearing the worse, we may actively avoid.
Avoidance of emotion can lead to inactivity. Inactivity is what happens when our emotions are trying to get us to solve a problem, but we fail to act on it. When we fail to act on it, the problem gets bigger. We feel worse and we get stuck even more. Our experiences of helplessness and powerlessness increase.
Sometimes our emotions are working really hard to get us to approach an extremely difficult thing. Approaching and problem solving difficult things in our lives gives us an opportunity to feel accomplished, competent, and more in control over the outcome.
Are you avoiding a situation or problem that your emotion is working hard at getting you to solve? What are the consequences? What would be the first step towards problem solving? What would you have to risk? What might you have to give up? What might you have to lose?
Posted in Emotion Regulation | Tags: Change, communication, Emotion, Function of behavior, Understanding emotion | No Comments »
Finding wisdom during emotional chaos
Our emotions get activated despite our best efforts to control them. So how do we know when to trust our “gut”? After all, when we have a “bad feeling” about a situation- and we rely on our feelings to avoid painful or scary scenarios- then how do we know when to approach a situation despite our anxiety about it?
While I am not sure there is a simple answer, here are some factors to help think this through. First of all, consider the importance of your emotion. Be clear about what you actually feel. Try to get a “sense” for the feeling itself. Next, consider the information that your feeling may be giving you about your environment. What is the actual threat? What could or would happen if you acted on the feeling? What (if any) action is your feeling prompting you to take? If you avoid taking action, what might the consequences be?
Consider the extremes. If you never trusted your “gut”- ignored or avoided feelings all the time- you may be vulnerable to getting yourself into bad situations. If you always trusted your gut- you may prematurely make judgments about people or situations that are unfounded or inaccurate. You might come across as overconfident or hyper-vigilant, and find yourself unable to tolerate situations that aren’t actually threatening.
Finding clarity in chaos may take trial and error, the willingness to be corrected, openness, and curiosity. Trusting your gut may also mean speaking up, being “seen”, and risking confrontation and disagreement. Neither one may be entirely confortable! Remember, making changes involves taking risks. Often discomfort and misery drives us to seek alternative solutions by trying out new behaviors.
Why consider the function of behavior?
People sometimes behave in ways that are not understandable! Extreme and out-of-control behaviors can result in relationship ruptures and endings, strain, awkwardness, discomfort, and avoidance of talking about “what happened.”
The function of a behavior has to do with the purpose that the behavior serves for a person. Often confusing, problematic, and egregious behaviors have some benefit for a person.
Some functions of extreme behaviors may include: Emphasizing a point, communicating the importance of something, making a statement, expressing outrage or protest, being taken seriously, reducing anxiety, feeling reassured or calmed down, feeling cared about or secure about the future, feeling *something*, being independent, having a say in a situation, being included, or letting someone know that something is important or meaningful.
Understanding function often helps people to problem-solve, to communicate more effectively, to be able to validate experience, to let go of situations or relationships that won’t change, and to find compassion for self and others.
Posted in Behavior Change | Tags: Change, Function of behavior, Meaning, Relationship, Stress, Understanding emotion, validation | No Comments »