Book reviews
According to Greta
According to Greta is a movie about an adolescent who gets “shipped off” to live with her grandparents for the summer. As her grandparents are driving her from the bus stop to their house, she announces her intention to kill herself.
What I appreciated about this movie was being able to witness changes in Greta when the people around her were able to openly share their reactions to her behavior. I especially like the character of Julie, who was able to approach Greta in a down-to-earth manner while nonetheless valuing the relationship. I also noticed the difficulty that Greta had finding out how difficult it is, sort of speak, to get attached and care about other people.
While I am usually skeptical about movings portraying suicidal actors (and would typically not recommend most of the movies I see), I would have to say that this one is an exception.
Book Review: The High Conflict Couple by Alan Fruzetti
Are you looking for a book that gives the lay person’s guide to understanding the nuts and bolts of DBT? I love Alan Fruzetti’s book, The High Conflict Couple. I often encourage my clients to read parts of it because it gives a really lovely overview of problems of emotions in relationships. And I certainly don’t think you have to be part of a couple relationship to benefit from what he has to say.
I especially like the way Fruzetti puts a coherent and descriptive framework around the many frustrations of being understood. His model applies on many levels and (I believe) is extremely helpful in assisting clients to identify and talk about what actually happens to them without blaming themselves or others.
Here is a brief quote from page 71: “The central points are, first, when expression is accurate, the other person can more easily understand, and thus validation (communication of understanding) is easier to provide; and second, when the response you get from your partner is validating, this helps keep your emotional arousal in check, which in turn makes it easier to express yourself accurately.” Alternately, he suggests that heightened emotional arousal can lead to inaccurate self-expression, which in turn can lead to being misunderstood and invalidated.
Alan Fruzetti has definitely packed in a lot of good information into this inexpensive paperback book- which makes it worth returning to on multiple occasions. His materials on validation are quite valuable and are often revisited in my groups.
Posted in Book reviews | 
Tags: Acceptance, Book review, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Understanding emotion | 
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ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris
I have to give some attention to this book because I really, really like it. This book is practical to use for both clients and therapists, has very compelling exercises and handouts, and really gets at the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT (a relative of DBT). This book is amazingly accessible.
ACT is known for addressing values and long term goals. This is about your life- in context! The big picture includes searching for meaning and direction. Often we get so caught up in problematic and self-defeating thoughts that it takes us down a road we aren’t willing ourselves to follow. We miss what we hold dear when we get caught up in trying to get rid of discomfort. Getting in touch with what matters can guide our interactions or distress in a direction that we are willing ourselves to go- even though current experience is painful.
The other thing that I really love about this book is the plethora of creative suggestions for relating to thoughts. If people could see their thoughts and feelings, sort of speak, their number of options for what to do with them could increase. The agenda here has to do with changing our relationship to our thoughts and feelings, rather than try to suppress, change, or get rid of them.
Here is a sample of what is in the book, taken from “Attempted solutions and their long term effects” on page 87. “What have you done to avoid or get rid of problematic thoughts, feelings, memories, sensations, or emotions? Did your thoughts and feelings go away? Did they return on the long run? Has this brought you to a rich, full, and meaningful life? What has this cost you in terms of time, energy, or money; negative effects on health, well-being, work, leisure, or relationships?”
If it’s cost you quite a bit, it might be time to try something else.